Higgs Bosons Cause Obesity; “It’s Glandular” Finally Confessed As BS

The Large Hadron Collider’s ATLAS… thing… first detected the physical presence of the Higgs boson July 4 of last year. And I became aware of that today.

Meaning, despite a diet that incorporates information from the newspaper group , the Savage Love group, and everything in between, I somehow was not informed that the God Particle had been confirmed to exist.

(Though “God Particle” is a bit much, using this moniker helps illustrate its importance.)

Put another way, the particle that gives things mass — which is every damn thing but photons and gluons — wasn’t important enough for a persoon who wants to know everything about everything to have come across.

What’s more, people who write about physics have called the discovery the last physics experiment. It is believed that we have no way of investigating other theorized particles, like gravitons, since the supercollider would have to be huge. The cost would be similarly massive and, were the US to foot the bill alone (which I’d bet it wouldn’t do even in part), cost a fraction of what we spend on things and people who  kill things and people. If you include the CIA, NSA, Darpa, and the UltraDarpa some DC residents (fine: Me) speculate existsbecause people who work in Darpa and other mostly unknown government institutions that escape media scrutiny by continuously defining the bleeding edge of applied science, including artificial intelligence, voice recognition (Darpa gave you Suri, kids. Probably because they ‘ve moved on to a human-dolphin translator.), machine intelligence, autonomous drones, etc etc etc.

Obviously, nothing of import to anyone, since it’s the tech we’ll finally get to play with in a decade — which isn’t most of their stuff because Darpa is a military operation and, as such, makes a lot of things to kill people a lot of ways that I know nothing about.

THE POINT BEING! A fundamental particle’s discovery wasn’t a big deal. A fundamental particle, without which the universe would be … who cares, it’d be us-less.

Essentially, MASS ITSELF was proved to exist. And we’re now faced with the weird-ass fact that mass is not an intrinsic property of things.

In the months I’ve been in the dark about the Higgs, though, I haven’t been able to not know about Fame-via sex tape Kardashian’s every stupid worthless — I recall a piece that reported on her changing her motherfucking hair color.

God’s Wounds… An idiot’s dye job is crucial. The latest step toward understanding the universe? Does it have a sex tape?

I wish I could clone thousands of Ed Murrows to replace every single disgrace to journalism in the business, which is now a cruel mockery of what it was and should be.

And I know the media has to be objective (which is not possible, whch is not to say one brings one’s politics to every story, just that one writes from one’s own perspective, which used to be unique.

…Whoa buddy… I almost went Hulk there.

Better end this post. It wasw only going to grow more rabid at an exponential rate until I wrote in underlined all-caps things I’ve bitched about before.

…And will again, so help me.

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