I Can’t Sleep Without Checking Beneath the Bed for Physics

I begin this post a bit after 4:30 am, kept from sleep by a conception of reality that is so accurate even NASA can safely retreat to Newton, but not accuarate , not in all situations, not yet.

When I was a child I sometimes woke to find an arm dangling down the side of my bed, my hand hanging beneath the box-spring, daring all below-bed creatures to finally do what they do but never have done, ever: Eat children.

I always woke, in these instances, with my head turned toward the errant arm and tilted  as necessary to ensure  I saw the appendage unwittingly dangled in the monster’s faces (if they had them), hanging like a Peking duck in in the window of a Chinatown restaurant.

My eyes would open lazily… If opening one’s eyes halfway in a fraction of a second can be conveyed as such with the character of the action well-enough represented to excuse what may be an innacucrate portrayal of how the action would have appeared if observed.

Right. Here’s how what transpired must have looked like: I’m a kid sleeping on his stomach on a twin bed, left arm handing toward the floor from the shoulder. , hanging in the monsters’ faces (if they had faces) like aPeking duck in a Chinatown window. I make a noise  indicating I’vdbeen disturbed, followed by my left whipped toward the ceiling,, a huge horrified gasp, and me pressing my back into the wall, checking for missing bits of one hand with the digits of the other.

I still cannot imagine how, in the second I felt only terror I also went from laying flat so sitting and rocking,

I can tell you what my impression was: All my muscles contracted all at once, and then I was clinging to the scrap of the blanket I was wrapped in as a newborn, which I had named Bob.

OK, since I may be able to get some sleep if I can get my shit together and finish this thing, I’ll skip the details of the monsters I knew would existed only to eventually eat me.I never asked my parents why they would install such a thing in my room… Then again, they only came out when I was alone in the dark. Plausible deniability.

I never thought of what these things looked like. I’d never seen them, after all, so I didn’t presume to know anything about them other than the fact they were there when I was alone at night and wanted to eat me alive so much it tormented them.  They wanted to chew me in separate pieces still able to twitch and scream on the way to their stomachs.

Had they gotten me, fulfilling the only thing they knew they wanted would , when at last the moment arrived, would be done is such eagerness and so greedily they would feel embarasseement and regret  before I hit their stomachs.

(Everyone get the virgin sex analogy? …Moving on are we?)

Here’s what kept me awake all goddam nigh now that I’m a big boy: That not only do I think Einstein’s cosmology beautiful, but a few days ago I was on my way across the park when and since then am able to imagine the interaction of various things.

It begins with  — 4D gravity is represented by a funnel, nowfill the surface of a body with mass and inertia with such funnels and there it is.I’ll spend a lot of time after today finding out why the universe must have  a force called gravity. If Einstein’s model makes a GAT, since the irreconcilable force is nonexistent, would’t it be a theory of everything?

To people in physics I must sound like a damn preschooler.

Brain off.

Autists of the world, unite!

(Form of: Don’t Touch Me!)