The Economy Is Back! Unemployment Never Left!


IN THE NEWS! Well I guess the [INSERT NAME HERE ALREADY! JESUS!] Depression is over now. The economy is in high gear — meaning the stock market got back to where it was (plus quite a bit more). And since the market as a whole is treated as and, for real!, believed to be a miniature portrait of the economy by any- and everyone in politics and press, such is the story: Rich people are getting rich, which means Goodbye Blue Monday!

…I gotta say (write): Even the housing market is “rebounding,” to use Street (Wall, that is). Nevermind that no one is buying back the fucking house they lost years ago. And that there are many more renters (buying is for suckers!) now. …But why are people buying houses again? Because this lake hasn’t been fished in a decade, which is long enough for humans to forget bait always hides a hook some motherfucker is waiting to impale you with before you can even swallow. …Uh… AHEM! That is: Fanny or Freddie or both are offering decent interest rates on home loans for the first time in forever. Please note both are a public/private joint. Also note private banks continue to offer astronomical rates. And now please note that the private sector exists to fuck you over. …The predicate to that sentence should have been: When even a semi-public firm is in the same market as private firms, the public institutions always treat humans far better. Now please note why: Because businesses guided solely by the profit motive with the sole aim of to offer a good interest rate on a loan, while private banks offer debt at twenty effing percent (whenever public competes with private… notice how public is the better option for real people? Privatization in general is beneficial only to the landed gentry).

Of course, people who have reinvested in a house are gonna get fucked again. Here’s how: As the economy improves, the interest rate will increase. Which means the act of buying a house is the smallest speck of a bit self-defeating, in that the purchase benefits the overall economy, and the accrual of these benefits will eventually have Bernanke raising rates until goon squads come to take grandma from the home she was raised in. Again.

Also, with all the political Whowza! and Shabang!, have you thought about the fact that a huge-ass percentage of Americans are unemployed? And many are still unemployed — as in “Still unemployed, and fucking have been through this entire Good Depression or Great Recession or Superb Slump or whatthefuck.”

The official number I heard is about seven percent. That is, seven percent of the employable are supposedly unemployed. This means at least twice that many citizens are jobless.

And so indeed, a merry economic recovery to all, and to all don’t move here my city is full I hear Canada is very nice.

PS: I must be simple lately… These pieces are coming out too clearly, too succinctly. Please know I’ll be working on fucking shit up again as soon as time allows.

Now here’s something better to chase the above with:

“[T]he liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is fascism — ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any other controlling private power.”


When private institutions are called “too big to fail,” and government must ensure the existence of companies that failed in the capitalist market, that is fascism. …In truth, I think fascism too nebulous a concept to apply here. It’s good, then, that the crime of seditious conspiracy as defined by US law describes how the corporation acts in relation to its government. Economic force is applied to the gov’t, here. But know that this use of force also involves violence, including murder. Since 2000, the number of Americans living in poverty increased by fifteen million people. About fifteen percent of Americans make less than the arbitrary and politician-friendly poverty standard.

And so, for a family of four to live on about twenty-three thousand dollars — total gross annual income — they must live in certain areas of certain cities. They have to go to shitty schools. They usually have to live far from supermarkets. Many can’t afford decent health care (“decent” being the high-water mark of the nation’s health care enterprise, which operates according to the profit motive, as all capitalist businesses. This means the health care system exists for one purpose: to create profit. Giving a shit about how someone feels is not a factor. Caring in any way is not in the business model.

Which is why health care in the US is so fucking shitty. Everyone born after 2000 will get cancer (if they don’t die of something else first, and fail to give metastasis a chance). So… Hi BlogPals! What cancer do you think you’ll get? I hate to think mine could be lung or esophogeal because I chain smoked for more than fifteen years. By the time the mass in a lung is big enough for a doctor to know its a mass, that mass is in your lymph and is gonna be in court tomorrow to claim eminent domain rights to every other damn organ in your torso. And it may annex one of your balls, just to be a complete ass-face.

THAT IS! The Still Fucking Nameless Economic Depression has radically changed tens of millions of lives. Which is to say: Wall Street, George Bush II, Republican politicians (because mother-fuck you, buddy), Democratic politicians (because we either pass laws or look stupid, and so we work with the GOP by passing what they want), BLYTHE MASTERS, JP MORGAN, any idiot who thinks the free market works in any beneficial way for anyone. A truly free market looks like China: You can’t fucking see it. It’s pumping pollutants as though global warming won’t swallow the Yangtze Delta/Valley. The free market looks like children. (Cool kids are opting out of college at present, to begin their careers four years early, and with a shitty-ass job. Which is fine if the person was gonna suck at college and get a shitty job regardless. …Still, if you don’t go to college, how will you ever have a lot of sex with a lot of other people with these responsibilities: to learn, to drink a lot, to have a lot of sex, and to have a lot of drunk sex?)

AHEM! Free market: No environmental regs. Rivers catch fire. You can’t drink your water. You can’t touch your paint, which made Junior “y’know.” You have asthma from lead coming back into gas, and every business polluting as much as they must. The free market will also ensure the “right to work.” This term is in force in many states plus DC, and means the employer and employee can dump one another at any time for whatever reason. This means: You’re staying late. You’re coming in early. Saturday too. Sunday you can wear a crucifix or whatever. You’re being paid a fraction more than one of millions of slightly less-competent people, meaning you’re a serf bitch. The free market means the Rule of Threes: It’s believed that capitalism will eventually have three companies dominating every market. BUT: the lack of any regulation means the companies are free to collude. So you pay the absolute maximum every company can charge for every thing such that profit is maximized. Then there’s only one company you could work at, but you can’t because robots do everything now. Remember Watson from Jeopardy? He’s at work right now. And because he started out exponentially smarter than you, able to learn absolutely anything, from what a specific letter is to the irony of humans making a computer that makes humans obsolete. The free market means plutocracy finally takes it all off, refers to to the Blow the Boss clause of your contract, has a division run by a shitbag who won’t hire tan-to-brown-colored people because he doesn’t want to and doesn’t have to, makes taking amphetamines before work mandatory, means the cool people boot heroin because speed is a prole drug, is sorry you have no life and invites you to die because it has other people waiting to take your place, dumped its trash there because the planning comittee in sanitization wanted it dumped there, builds planned obsolescence into every oh-so-free product, means nothing you have works because something is always turning six months old, wishes it could stop this fucking gasbag from continuing this goddam sentence!

THE SYSTEM WORKS! OK, here’s the rub: If the depression is over, as is being reported, then why the fuck are the majority of Americans doing so goddam shitty? Why can’t people get jobs they actually wanted to do? Why are fifty-year-old CPAs learning C++? Why are their fifty resumes for every job? How can the GOP fucking seriously shut down the government because really fucking rich people must pay even less in taxes?Have the rich not learned the American Way? That, to whom much is given, increasingly less is expected?

Con-fucking-sarn it. I was going to be at Sunday Market two hours ago. And I spent those hours pissing myself off.

There’s something wrong with me.

PS: Confidential to B. Obama: Announce a speech before both houses. Say this: “I’d like to say that this is the most pathetic group of fleshbags I’ve seen in my life, and that I’m barring all current representatives from the Capitol by executive order. Yeah, yeah and fuck you Boehner! It’ll be ruled unlawful a long-ass time after you’re gone and can’t even get a lobbying job. Please know Congress will still be in regular session. It will just be in session without you fuckers joining it. This being the case, I will make all my appointments during recesses and make law by executive order.

“So yes, America, you’ve heard correctly: I’m Barack The Rock O-Fucking-bama, and I’ll be your motherfucking dictator. Thank you, and Hail Caesar!

…Not that I’m pro-dictatorship. But Bush II, and now this shit? For someone whose politics swing left as in big-boy-politics left and not milquetoast US Democrat left-as-right-of-center, it’s getting to be a bit much to bear.

I can only hope our past-due mega-earthquake never comes so I never have to live in your butchered America, and can remain ensconced in the thought bubble that is Portlandtown, USA, until the nation finally moves back home and lets Britain fucking govern us because my fucking god no one fucking cleans up at all around here and girls think its weird after a while that they can’t come over.