HOW TO BE HAPPY! Or, Smile, Stupid!

All human misery, all human pain that is not physically experiential, is the result of humans not accepting reality.

Regret is the aching wish a past action or inaction had been done or not been done. If you’re Catholic, it’s Guilt. And so on… It is the idiocy underlying expressions of the type “If only I had…,” “It should have been me,” “Etc would be so different if only…”

I have never known these feelings because I am innately logical — and to a degree and of an instinct unique even among the Asp population. I cannot consider what events could have occurred if my past were different. Because it is nonsensical to think the past is changeable. To do so neglects the fact that a different past and different future, were they to exist, could not include you. We perceive our existences as dependent on causation. Without this, the universe literally falls apart — making all science and all knowledge of anything false. And so if you could change the past (then why not the future? Why not what you currently are doing? [to self: post re: human agency consisting of reflex reactions only — maybe — AAgency…]) you would change the present and you would cease to exist. So just let shit go, uneless you have the “death drive” implied by your emotions, in which case hurry up and kill yourelf already.

So maybe you’re thinking, so maybe in some universe I DID kiss that one girl!

If you think this then I’m sorry but you’re both wrong and a coward. Belief in string theory and multiverses has yet to be expelled from science, but modeling the universe using material that is not present in the universe… Well shit. How long can a goddam faith be the canker on the otherwise most-rigorous of scientific disciplines? When we smash atoms into their constituent quanta, we find things like the Higgs boson. NOT the Higgs string. There are no goddamned strings, loops, branes, etc etc, nor are there eleven or even thirteen universes coexisting in reality, but only in minds whose intellect is utterly wasted. We get one universe, one life, one chance at anything and everything.

Put your fucking game face on already and live like you mean it, or lay on your deathbed hoping for a heaven to recompense your jilted life. Or reincrnation, which is as stupid as the abovementioned notion.

And yeah, appreciating my “present” as my future past means I DO kiss the girl, jump off the cliff, ask her out knowing rejection will result, smell the air and find it miraculously piquant, etc etc …And so if I were able to experience regret, I would not have any to experience… So maybe I could feel regret if regret made any goddamned sense at fucking all.

The above is what a moron would call a teachable moment. …I concern myself with the activities of such persons for the reason that I lack a theory of mind because I cannot get you people. You make no sense. If I weren’t an expert layman phsychologist, sociologist, philosopher, physchiatrist, etc etc I’d be as scared of you as I was as a child.

I cannot understand how you care about every single thing. You will defend a statement, a point of view, a person, etc if randomly given one/all to defend and you will be emotionally invested in it. You can be given a rock and asked to return it thirty minutes later and you will not want to do so, having found “your” rock special and whatever. You yell when frustrated and cry when hurt and even “feel for him/her.”

It’s no wonder, though nevertheless infinitely and gratingly annoying, you cannot have rational thoughts. You’re so busy caring for evey single fucking thing that makes the slightest contact with you… (For real, see psych metastudies re: empathy and whatever — yes search Google docs for once in your life… What are all of you looking at all day, that you don’t accidentally learn sys admin, stay current on the humanities and physics and AI [which I defend because my brain is an AI to Normals, essentially, and I do not experience the world emotionally, but logically, and to label the microsilicobrains that make 75% of all stock market trades themselves — they are automatons, which makes one wonder why the humans who rely on them consider themselves anything other than the same, being outdone always and forever in this endeavor in microseconds learning more than you could ever be bothered to…]… I often say because it distills my sense of this matter: “AI won’t earn the I until it laughs at people’s jokes.” The automaton that is Google Search, ferinstance, knows all of the internet. But it is not intelligent. And those sentences don’t scream oxymoron at anyone, apparently… How can machines be the only things now capable of creating better versions of themselves and not be considered very very intelligent? Esp. since Intellect = the power of knowing as distinguished from the power to feel and to will: the capacity for knowledge [m-w.com]?)

Ahem. Having intelligence is having a developed intellect is having logical and rational thoughts and functioning in a way that reflects these thoughts, specifically NOT having at all to do with emotions. Which means any and all computational devices are more intelligent than any of us (yes me too I’m reminded of my emotionality by the sucking hole that seems to be inside my chest left by a girl and everything to do with a girl too much in my memory which ensures I will never ever ever not be feeling some degree of chest implosion having been punched having been a sucker having too much time with her and it all ruined in the reveal and having failed and failed and failed and all of it every moment painted black and the smiles and laughter redacted and if not then stained because it was all wrong and wrong and wrong and I knew it and knew it and knew it and an eidetic autobio memory is not a thing that likes reformatting but probably maybe one hopes and should hope the truth will cease to be a sucking hole and my mind will cease its rebellion and I will be some kind of OK with the fact that there are monsters and I didn’t kill the only one I’ve been close enough to to kill I failed and I knew I was failing but really how could I know then again how could anyone not have a sense of something that was there close enough to punch a hole in and bleed and bleed and bleed out… Why did such a good thing become this? Why had such a good thing in fact been this? Why and why and why… (This tangent is named: Screams Into the Sky.)

So rational thoughts and logical ones are ALL I have. And you people solve crime with murder internationally while criminalizing murder nationally. I can never know when one of the horde will stick a knife in me because his DNA and formative years (birth-six. Yeah that’s right: Your teenage years meant fuck-all). So sorry, your parents are not to blame unless they traumatized you or gave you genes that whatever. Your personality — that of a whiny bastard unable to accept responsibility, and esp. unwilling to own actions — even actions not done….

And yeah, I have no empathy for people I do not know personally. I can write this, unburdened by the aforementioned:Did your mom die? Well number one: People Fucking Die! Did you think this human would not-die despite the fact All Humans Die? (To Sherlock fans: “That’s what people DO!”) Next, yeah it sucked or whatever. Acknowledged. Accepted. Wish she were still here? Want her back? Etc?!

Sorry stupid, but we don’t live in a world in which teacups come back together.

To wish for a different past is to wish for a different you is to express a certain degree of self-loathing.

The only way life gets better is if one makes it so as one is able. And yeah sure one can live in the past, but it is a life caught in amber.

And I don’t see the point, the fun, and know no purpose this serves.

dbmllc, an alienandroid concern, now sixty percent less insulting

PS: Let’s hope I write about the oddity of our “holidays.” We perform the rituals of an agrarian society, and that isn’t
helping anyone anything anytime.

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