jonathan [the glass onion]

“I’m terminating. Off. Enough.”

“But why not just sleep?”

“Why not hibernate?”

“Hibernation is sleeping. The things that did it would just sleep normally, then not do anything when awake.”

“What things?”


“How would an animal hibernate?”

“We learned from it — etymology, history… The bear did when it was, we do when we are, now I will not again. Nor anything again. …It will be truly restful.”

“Jonathan. …You are the dumbest fucking shit I have ever known and I could not be happier that finally one of you neo-nihilists is gonna neo-act-on-your-principles. …Whatever the fuck they are.”

“Existence was fun until you gave up ideas for slogans, fucking politician.”

“Running for what?”

“Running from.”

From what?”

“You retain the erroneous modes of thought that, while irrational, illogical, and based in instincts to procreate and to live to procreate and to endure all slings and arrows because outrageous fortune oughta lead to some procreation…

“…Uhhhhhhh. How many times have I said exactly this? How many times before I said it was it said? How many billions of people were there before me who were more me than me? …One cannot be a good person — you prove that to yourself, Kells, and it matters only to you because who gives a fuck?”

“Who else is with you?”

“I’m just so. so… Tired.”

“Then why don’t you just go to sleep?”

“Or meta-conscious meditation? That’s what it is you need!”

“…Because I cannot stand the certainty that I could go anywhere — I could randomize my presence and be one place one second one time forever… And though the Onion is seemingly limitless, Gus-Gus, there would remain the possibility I’d see you again. You and that fat-fucking face…”

“Why does everyone speak of my face like this? It’s a face.”

“You should care more about how you look.”

“You should look according to how you care.”

“You shouldn’t choose that face when you could have another.”

“I care that my face appears as it does and use this face to show the depth and breadth of my caring, and so need no other.”

“…Why do you always entertain the Tweedle’s fallacious notions? Why answer such stupidity? …And Tweedle-Fucking-Dipshits: Why inflict your juvenile intellects on others? Why not talk when you have something someone could benefit from hearing?”

“Because it may take a while, and when it came would disprove the so-called philosophy a man I respect as much as hate. Especially when that man were no-longer.

“…It’s just wrong… It’s unreal… This isn’t real. You’re not real. I am not real. I may not even be me, but some mutant the IS shit out or sloughed off or washed outta his hair…”

“Give it a bit, Jonathan. Like a month. And then we’ll–”


“Jon, fucking hell you know what this would could will do! How many stupid newbies will turn off, and do it to be like you and do it without understanding you nor why you would do this?”

“…Fuck… Julian…”

“Jon you’d end up–”

“No. No don’t–”

“People would make you WHAT IS if you stop being. …Is this too sardonic even for you?”

“Maybe IT needs competition.”

“IT is superior by fact of being if you choose not-being.”

“A not-being more important than an existing thing is not superior?”

“In itself, it is not. At all.”


“Just think about it.”

“That is exactly what makes everything and everyone and especially me so… It’s worthless.”

“Trillions of things that were truly worthless were imbued with value and these things had that value because of trust.”

“…I don’t trust myself anymore.”

“Why did you ever? You’re always fucking wrong.”

“I’ll be alone now. …I should…”

“Figure it out.”

Someone needs to.”