Heaven is a Place

“Heaven is a place

A place where nothing

Nothing ever happens.”

–David Byrne, Ubermensch


I purposely haven’t looked up any exptrapolation of this song’s meaning because I’m pretty sure a central theme is the fact that a thing that is perfect — should it change — is not perfect. “Perfect” has no stages. Something is perfect or it is not. A thing that is perfect, if changed in any way at all, must itself change to a state of imperfection.

One of the more esoteric arguments in re gods that you have to be a philosophy/logic/Autist to like is:

Is a nonexistent God more perfect than an extant one?

(Yeah. That’s the actual solution. It is argued horribly by most people considered good at logic. …I’m a logician. Normal people have emotions and don’t think, but react to how everything makes them feel all the time. It’s so freaking weird.

Anyway, if Heaven is a place, it’s a bar no one can get into without ruining the fun of so much nothing.

Which calls to mind Lucifer in Dante’s Hell, weeping for himself eternally, beating his wings to escape what the same must have created forevers ago: He cannot cease crying, so wretched the rivers Styx and Acheron flow from Lucifer’s eyes, where his beating wings freeze him in an ocean of his lamentation. Einstein, of course, is in Heaven, so he can’t tell Lucifer that insanity is doing the same thing for almost all one’s existence — anything’s existence — and expecting a different result.

No time to go into what this song implies about free will and, if it exists, which it does not, how it would mean God could not be omnipotent. (God is all-powerful. But if you can choose to do something, that’s a choice God didn’t make, a will exercised that was not his, and his power is not total, but diminished to the extent yours was used. And that means deciding to wear THAT top today KILLED GOD.

…It does look good. But… um… it killed God.

FUN FACT: The majority of condiments used in US restaurants are non-Newtonian soilids — ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc, all change fromj solid to liquid with the application of force. (You hit a Heinz bottle on the numbers on the neck of the bottle, with it tilted 45 degrees. If it doesn’t pour with the application of two solid strikes your ketchup has gone bad. It may smell vinegar-y, but that’s not vinegar. That’s vinegar’s smell becoming noticable because its come out of solution and is joining other rogue ingredientst to create a cocaine-like compound, which is used in America so much it rivals the opiod and methamphetamine epidemics. That is, they’re as bullshit as the lousy coke you get from spoiled ketchup.

Definition of epidemic (m-w)

1affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time 

  • typhoid was epidemic
2a excessively prevalent

b contagious 4 

  • epidemic laughter

3characterized by very widespread growth or extent of, relating to, or constituting an epidemic 

  • the practice had reached epidemic proportions