10 Reasons Everyone Needs 50 More Internet Security Programs

  1. Because a VPN is as good for your computer as gluten is bad for you. Also, you know what both are and what they do.
  2. Because hackers target the home computers of individuals. Hackers want to have the largest impact with the least effort, since what they do is not legal. The way to accomplish this is by going after not-rich individuals.
  3. A DDOS attack is a denial of service — this is what your ISP employs to keep you from certain sites they are paid to keep you off (eg, torrent sites). You cannot get around this with TOR, which has been paid to insist you need a VPN. You don’t because…
  4. A commercial VPN is almost always a Virtual Private Network that logs all identifying info specific to your computer and tracks it. Negating TOR. You must pay for every mp4 — think of the immorality of stealing music using a machine whose every program siphons and sells your information to everyone it can. Let the shame become you.
  5. Because Windows 10 notifiesw you every ten minutes to download THIS before a virus kills you.
  6. Because Ubuntu doesn’t exist.
  7. For the same reason cholesterol is good and bad. There’s at least ONE study supporting it. (Seriously, if anyone finds a study showing bad cholesterol is bad for a person without heart disease/preexisting condition(s) — if there is a study that shows bad cholesterol is not GOOD for you, I will pin a rose on your nose.)
  8. Because.
  9. It’s a logical assumption that a company could survive charging $35 a month, keep your traffic invisible, and not be killed or bought by companies like Google, which puts its hand on your ass when you’re walking in public and won’t stop, though you immediately, continuously smack it away.
  10. Because who knows? Better safe than sorry. …Who knows what does anything, anyway? And I want the government to descend into tyranny, using shame rather than arrests/murders/Guantanamo still exists where a few people have been fed almost exactly like Geese that are made mostly liver because sorry foie gras is ambrosia. And I was born singing The Smiths and believe that meat is murder. I just have no problem with murder because something dies so another lives, destruction is creation, and it doesn’t matter it isn’t many generations until humans have another world war because of the effects of global warming, which exists and doesn’t need you to believe it does to do so.
  11. (REALLY 10a, but I’m not gonna wrestle with formatting right now because doing something so simple seems akin to wrestling right now. It’s not that I haven’t got the chops, it’s just gross touching people.) OKAY: Your phone knows. It knows everything, and with it always in your pocket, so do you. This makes it astonishing to me that anyone argues about anything ever. There is no cure for stupidity, for morons are too dumb to learn to be smart. Neither psychopathy nor pedophilia.

The more you know…. (Speaking of, “With much wisdom comes much sorrow” is the only bullshit in Ecclesiastes. No, more than that, that The Master’s ruminations lead him to nihilism is not necessary and is not wise. Sisyphus rolls his rock eternally while the gods of Olympus have all died — Sisyphus is in Tartarus and so technically REALLY dead, but I’ll relate everything back to him eventually we don’t need to be early to the dance.)